When you find yourself in times of trouble resilience comes to me

 

Being resilient at times of trouble does not come easy, what we have faced over the last 6 months has shown how strong we can be as human beings. If we strive towards developing ourselves this has an overall effect of improving our performance professionally and socially.

Vision- resilient people will have a clear idea of what they are trying to achieve in their lives, and will have written this down somewhere. They are likely to review the vision from time to time, particularly when events seek to divert effort away from achieving the vision. The vision itself might be blurred; it should not be time constrained, but it should be feasible to achieve.

Interaction - is about how we behave towards other people. The only person we control is ourselves. However, to survive and achieve what we need, we must control the reactions of others to our behaviours towards them so that they, in turn, help us. This is known as reciprocity.

To interact effectively with others we need to understand everything that is going on in an interaction, almost reading the other person’s mind so that we can adjust our behaviour to respond to how we think the other person is responding to us. We need to explore and respond to the other person’s self-interest. Self- interest is our prime motivator and by feeding the self-interest of the other person, they in turn, will reciprocate and feed us with our self-interest. If we manage all this we are in control, and by being in control, we build our resilience.

 Relationships ‘If you always approach everyone with cheerful optimism, you will find that they simply have no choice but to respond in kind’.

In order for us to survive and prosper we need to forge relationships. These are many and varied that include acquaintances, partners, friends, all of whom have a different quality to them in relation to their strength, importance and power, and each appeal to a different aspect of our own need.

Determination Resilient people with high levels of determination have the capacity to achieve things that those with low determination tend not to be able to do. Determination is essentially self-driven, although can be triggered by a reaction to an event, and requires considerable focus on a goal, task or vision. People with high levels of determination also have high self-awareness -knowing yourself very well; high self-advocacy - being able to articulate your wishes effectively; and high self-efficacy - a belief in being able to achieve almost anything.

 Organisation - People who are well organised are able to cope with the chaos of daily life better than those who do not pay attention to organising themselves, preferring to rely on memory and luck. Being organised allows individuals to know where they are if their day is disrupted by unforeseen events. Organised people plan their week and their day in ways that ensure they start work immediately, and reward completion of nasty tasks by next completing enjoyable ones. Resilient people know where they are, and can control their working environment by careful planning and implementation.

 

Be resilient in your working day and let it filter through to your whole week.

Face Coverings

 Face coverings are now compulsory for all passengers on our buses (unless they are exempt) as per the government guidelines.  I think this is good news for us from both health and safety perspective and also for the future as hopefully 2M social distancing measures are reduced and the number of passengers allowed on a bus are increased. The measure also gives confidence to passengers that bus travel is safe, and they can return to commuting in an environmental manner and we get back to running some sort of normal bus service.

  We have to play our part in this, and I have noticed already that many people are complying with the law and wearing a face covering as the week progressed. I have no doubt that we play a major part in influencing this behaviour.

Firstly…...

Engage with the customer, greet them with a smile the chances are they will be fitting the covering as you pull up. If for some reason the customer isn’t wearing one, explain that everyone is required to wear one as per the government request, remember some people are exempt and it is not up to us to be the judge and jury, if they state they are then trust that is the case.

It helps to Explain why it’s important to wear a covering when on our vehicles this encourages customers to wear one and finally, Encourage thanking the customer for wearing the covering as they get on the bus giving them a thumbs up, sub consciously positively reinforcing a safe behaviour.

What we can also do is wear a face covering when we take over or alight from a vehicle, this is to demonstrate good practice.

Theres a light

To stay positive during the pandemic from a personal perspective is vital for so many reasons. This mind set is something that we can all achieve with a degree of reflection and being thankful for all the good things in life that continue to exist and will flourish again as we return to a new normality at some stage in the future. How do we keep a positive mindset when so much around us tries to halt this train of thought which is very challenging.

   I concentrate on small targets and small steps, I have never spent so much time with my family and doubt I ever will again, this has given more time to reflect on what is important in life. The health and welfare of all of them is my number one priority, we have done everything possible for that to be maintained and I am thankful that we are still relatively safe.  I have never seen so many people enjoying being outside together I see families on cycle rides, walking the dog, couples holding  hands. Everyone is getting through this in so many different ways bringing new challenges daily. When I speak to colleagues, friends and family, jobs around the house and garden have been completed that otherwise would have been delayed, new skills have been achieved and people have grown in themselves. Keeping a focus can distract thoughts from spiralling into negative worries and lower anxiety.  

A community spirit has developed, we have had butter and flour dropped off on our doorstep because a neighbour knows Lauren and Lily enjoy baking. This has been reciprocated with ourselves leaving finished cupcakes and cookies on the doorsteps for all our neighbours-while socially distancing of course.  My eldest daughter have even thrown a cupcake over the fence for the neighbour.

 The beauty in the world is there for us all to see we just need to reflect and slow down sometimes to appreciate it. We now have 3 sets of birds living and nesting in our garden, watching the pair of blackbirds and blue tits work continuously to build their nests is wonderful to see.

Everyone will take something different from this time when life resumes.  Some of us will be more effected than others and some of us will have different daily routines.  to resume we need to try to find strength in positives as this mindset can physically help our health an give us the energy we need to persevere. 

Have you considered the following questions:

What are you positive about?
What have you achieved or a member of the family achieved?
What will you continue to achieve when we resume a different normality?
How have you changed for the better?
Do you think you have changed?

The new new

We keep on hearing what the new norm will look like and as I write this I am curious to the government's announcement.  I am hopeful that a  plan  for the easing of the current lockdown will be introduced.  So many considerations to take into account with the nations physical and mental health. This prompts me to have thoughts, some good some not so good, What will happen to our economy?What will happen with regards to navigating through our day to day business? Will the economy get back to some form of normality?  How do I help people around me that are struggling?

This sometimes helps me it's a theory called the 'Circle of control'.
I use it when i'm struggling with a concept that I have to grasp and it helps me to accept some of the decisions that affect me personally - it's a simple thesis, everything in the inner circle is under my influence (learning, attitude, behaviours etc.  Whereas,  in the outer circle there are somethings I can't directly change.  This helps my brain to compartmentalise what is working well and not to worry about things that are out of my control. Yes, I can influence but ultimately it is out of my control and therefore I can accept that this is ok and does not reflect my personal performance.





At this present moment many issues sit in the outside area, many things are 'not within our control'-meeting up with friends.  But we also currently have things we can currently control like my daily exercise and eating habits, trying not to wind my wife up-it helps if I work in the conservatory out of her way.


What works for you?
What behaviours, actions and choices can you place in the inner circle?
Are there any additional choices that you may be able to move from outside to inside?

Thinking outside the box

Thinking Outside The Box

We all have to seek different ways to complete our daily routine which will help us to get by during this pandemic. This current situation is taking us outside of our comfort zones and requires us to bring another plan to the table, challenging us both mentally and physically giving us new obstacles to overcome. The options we used to be familiar with have changed due to the lockdown so we have to be creative in many ways and change our thinking and behaviours.

    I can only go for my one exercise of the day and this shouldn't really exceed one hour.  I find this limits what I want to achieve from a mental and physical wellbeing prospective.  I therefore changed my thinking and routine to focus on more home exercises. I joined an app called swift for virtual bike rides, it cost nothing (except a piece of equipment) and provides the opportunity to cycle around cycle routes that gives me both a sense of normality and also the motivation and challenge I seek, alongside a physical sense that my body has had a workout. I cycled around London which was just the fix I needed and brought back happy memories. I doubt I will be cycling the Prudential ride in London in August, but I guess you never know.

   I have started reading books in the evening rather than watching the news which can overwhelm especially if you are watching it more than once a day. We even have adult colouring books being completed in the household which are relaxing and enjoyable.

   Every family is finding their own way to cope and adjust with some situations being more challenging than others. Such things as, an anniversary meal ordered online or shopping and delivering for vulnerable family members gives a sense of achievement. My oldest daughter would take Lily for a coffee and cake at the weekend so as they can't go out they brought the coffee shop to our home. Off her own back, Lauren created a high tea event for Lily in the kitchen.  It made Lily very happy.

Amazon and eBay have become the go to place that give us the tools and help us to carry on as usual providing delivery service that we are all relying on like never before.

What can you do that allows you to overcome the issue?

What can you change for yourself or somebody else in the household.

Can you make somebodies day special?  The high tea was £1 for cakes, cucumber sandwiches, crisps and a couple of traditional tea bags, as well as mum's posh tea set.  The most important ingredient here was time.

Stay Safe Everyone!

Majority and Minority

Behaviour of people is always interesting.  Over the four day bank holiday weekend, the majority of people in Southend and Leigh-on-Sea have abided by the Government guidelines and did not congregate but simply enjoyed their one permitted exercise of the day. I was slightly worried with the weather touching 24 degrees that the temptation of normality would override and people would succumb. I have to say, I am proud of our community for  doing the right thing and staying home. It seems to me that we are over the honeymoon period and that we are dealing with this situation and treating it with the upmost commitment and respect that it requires. Always remember we are saving lives by doing the right thing and in our industry we play a huge part of this by making sure the NHS workers and other key staff continue to be available to help all within society.

99 percent of us demonstrate this discipline but why do, thankfully only a  small minority not abide by the rules.  I see people saying excuses such as I'm not near anyone or bothering anyone else - They are missing the point you are only as strong as your weakest link and if we all demonstrated this individual thought process, rather than the group mentality, then we would be in a far worse position than we presently are. This makes me ponder, we must strive for 100 percent in everything we do but sometimes we forget to recognise the achievements of the many and only focus on the failings- It's important to recognise what works well.

   

If you are a follower of my blog you know I am a keen goal setter -

The daily planner I utilise really helps me focus for the day and week ahead without this I think my mind would become a mass of ideas and intentions with no focus, it really works for me.  My wife loves it as it keeps me out of her way.

what can you try, to stay focused?
What is working well?
Recognise yourself and others

Stay safe every one

Ant

How do we cope presently

In these unprecedented times it's important that we continue to be strong for ourselves, our family and others who we interact with. Life has currently changed, with our days not being our norm and what we are used to. We are all looking at ways of making this work, so when we finally emerge from this that we can do the best we can.

   Due to the situation we are all missing many things, simple pleasures that I took for granted that I now see as a luxury, my routine has been interrupted, as I abide by the government advice. I miss walking along the seafront, watching a football match in the local park, nipping to get a newspaper and not having to think about social distancing. These small pleasures aren't disappearing and the seafront will be there for us all once we recover and football players will once again grace the pitch, this gives me the light at the end of the tunnel.

   We are now a household of five, As a family we have had to devise a plan which gives us all the direction and focus for the day, this really helps and keeps the day running to time  - learning, exercise, fun activities, rest, are all built into an agenda which means everyone has to play apart. Each has strengths that they bring and weaknesses that they need to work upon (my teenage son).

Rather than focusing on the challenges of COVID 19 and the associated issues. I want to share on the inner strengths that are arising.

    I don't think I have ever spent so much time with my children.  Lily would normally be at her care centre,  and has lots of transfer equipment and wheelchair etc, Lauren  would usually be at work and Alex at college.  I watch how they handle the situation which I feel is character building. Both Alex and Lauren have stepped up to the plate with regards to caring for Lily, not only for Lily but also for their grandparents who are in 12 week isolation.

 My 45 minutes exercise has become the key to maintaining my day and it's my simple pleasure that sets me a goal to complete.

What goal can you set?

• Complete an on-line course 
• DIY tasks that need completing in your house
• Support someone in need
• Video chat with relatives

remember if anyone wants to chat  i'm always available through normal communication channels

What can we do?

                                                    What Can We Do?

In challenging times it is easy to focus on the negatives instead of actually what we can do.  We as a society are social and fast moving, travelling and integrating.  During this current pandemic we need to focus on our behaviours to help ourselves and others.  There are  simple steps that we can all take which will support life's current challenges.

What can we all do?

• Use hand gel when we can't get to a sink
• Use hand wash and warm water (remember the 20sec rule)
• Try not to touch your mouth, eyes or nose
• If you are unwell with a temperature or persistent dry cough self isolate for 7 days
• Be aware with people that you have been into contact and how they are
• Wipe down work areas, phones, keyboards 
• Use a tissue and bin it, then wash your hands or sanitize them
• Help an elderly neighbour with shopping etc.

How do we help as bus drivers?

• Many people rely on our services
• As a company we want to ensure our customers that we are doing our bit
• We are a lifeline for some to get to work, shops, school or hospital 
• We can adapt our behaviours

Lots of people touch their faces and this is a behaviour we need to change.  An entry point for the virus is through the nose, eyes or mouth.  If we are washing our hands before food then this limits the spread.  Also, not rubbing our eyes or touching our noses also limits the spread.  Be aware of your work environment whether it be a bus cab or desk.  There are hard surfaces that can be wiped down this also limits the spread.

Any one can progress

We have had our dogs now for over 3 years and bearing in mind I never had a dog until I was 47 I can't believe it took so long to become a dog owner.  And to be honest I now reflect on not having a dog and can see how they bring so many positives to not only myself, but all the family as well as neighbours and people who live in the surrounding community. I have to go right back to explain why we made this decision. Primarily, we decided to get a pet for Lily and thought it would be the ideal companion and that has certainly proved the case.  Secondly, we felt it would bring the family together and provide an opportunity for family time  during walks.  Then, finally we knew that two walks a day would benefit everyone from a fitness and mental health well being perspective.

 

    We found Murph at the RSPCA and we were reliably informed that he was in last chance saloon as he had a tendency to nip (being a pomeraian cross he's hardly dangerous his bark is worse than his bite). In the early days we certainly experienced nervousness, but over time and with the use of positive reinforcement he is such an asset to all of us. His bond with Lily is particularly heartwarming every second of the day, when Lily is at home, Murphy spends time with our daughter. I think he has a sense of protection and sees lily as part of the pack and it is his duty to defend her which he does so to much amusement ( try bedtime with a wheelchair and dog it's always interesting).

 

When we go for walks around our neighbourhood  people stop and talk which in our society is something that we should cherish. Many of our neighbours are elderly and the 2 dogs recognise and greet them like old friends we know being lonely can be difficult and others can easily be ignored, so it provides an opportunity to chat,  some petting time for the dogs and a moment that brings cheer to everyone present (both human and canine).

The point is everybody can be changed, nobody is lost forever and there is always help providing there is support. If one little dog can change many peoples lives for the better anything is possible.